Somatic healer, Hypnotherapist & Coach in Stockholm – Emma Smedslund, JoyBeing Guidance
My purpose, and how I remembered it
My name is Emma, I’m the founder JoyBeing Guidance, and I will hold space for you as you reconnect with your truth, reclaim your power, and realize your optimal life – a life without compromise, where there is room for everything you desire; wellbeing, freedom, harmony, love and abundance. Yes, JoyBeing, it’s possible.
“The war is over. You don’t need to fight anymore. You can surrender your weapons and exhale. You are safe and secure. You are enough; your mere existence makes you enough. You are worthy of wellbeing and you deserve a life of joy, harmony and freedom.” This is what I wish I could have said to myself when I hit rock bottom and found myself surrounded by darkness.
My Story
“I have to work hard, do everything I can and then some to achieve my goals – then I will be happy”. I was entirely convinced that this collective agreement on what success and happiness is and how to achieve it was true. “I have to push, achieve and control as much as much as I possibly can – then I get to rest. When I have proved myself by doing everything ‘right’ according to someone else’s standards or expectations – then I deserve to be loved.” My life was conditioned by limiting beliefs like these, and they made me mentally and physically ill.
I had lost touch with my inner voice, and instead let external voices dictate who, what and how I was expected to be. The more I chased external validation, the further I got from my own truth. The more information, opinions, and advice I consumed from outside, the stronger my experience became that I never had enough, did enough, or was enough.
I spent many years pushing, forcing and controlling as much as I possibly could. My career in tech advanced rapidly; I went from developer to manager in just two years. I did everything I could to prove myself and please people; I gave away all my power, time and energy to get validation that I met expectations and was enough. My inability to set healthy boundaries made it impossible for me to ever say no, which in turn often made me feel misunderstood and used. Constantly living by other people’s expectations rather than my own took a toll on my already poor self-esteem and caused me to feel lost, invisible and without identity.
From performance to presence; my awakening
When I realized that I wasn’t just introverted but also highly sensitive and codependent, I began to understand why I absorbed other peoples emotions like a sponge, why I felt exhausted after a day the office and social activities – there was nothing wrong with me! And yet I felt like I never fit anywhere, never belonged – because I could never be my true, authentic self.
In the spring of 2019 I had come full circle in my eating disorder, which was triggered by the shock of my father’s sudden and far too early passing. Five years earlier I had finally managed to lose the excess weight that using food to avoid painful and uncomfortable feelings had led to. When that didn’t make me happier my weight loss continued – as did my search for wellbeing and purpose.
I hit rock bottom in the fall of 2021. Despite having multiple obvious stress symptoms, I refused to admit that I was, in fact, stressed. I didn’t feel stressed. I had everything under control! I did everything right. I was disciplined, organized and successful – and deeply unhappy.
Eventually I could no longer deny that I was facing my most important choice yet: to either continue choosing a disconnected survival mode out of fear – or chose life. I chose life. I allowed myself to surrender, to let go and trust that I would survive. At that moment I released limiting beliefs and patterns that no longer served me and began my journey home, inward, to my highest truth, to my true authentic self; to self-love.
The combination of meditative therapy and talk therapy was the key to profound transformation and healing for me. By allowing myself to rest, reflect and meditate, I regulated my nervous system. I journaled and practiced gratitude and self-compassion. Allowing myself to be present and kind to myself sparked something deep within. A tiny flame of love, of joy, was ignited inside me.
What I experiences in the meditative therapy sessions resulted in a spiritual awakening, which gave my life meaning again. The spirituality that awakened came suddenly after decades of suppressing it and the intuitive gifts I had as a child. There was so much I had forgotten, so many parts of myself I had concealed beneath multiple layers of fear. Today, I remember who I am, where I came from and why I’m here, which is the most precious gift I’ve ever received.
Today I am mentally and physically healthy. I’m in touch with my inner voice, and I proudly express my true, authentic self. I now know that by prioritizing and maintaining a state of wellbeing here and now, I simultaneously create a future state of wellbeing. I’ve created a method for this lifestyle, and I want to share it with you.
I am so incredibly grateful for the support I’ve had, and still have, on my journey home. Along the way I remembered my purpose, which is to hold the same space for you as you follow the path home to yourself. In the space I hold, you can be sure that none of what you think, feel or say is weird, wrong or a failure. All parts of you are welcome in this space, regardless of how you feel, what you think of yourself, or the circumstances of your life.
You deserve to feel good!
I am especially helpful for those who want to explore:
Stress and nervous system regulation
Attachment trauma and relationships
Fear, anxiety and control
Self-criticism & not feeling good enough
Codependency and boundaries
Highly sensitive personality (HSP)
Self-realization & meaningfulness
Spirituality awakening & development
Living from the heart, not just on autopilot
Taking a small, first step is possible regardless of your circumstances. Perhaps this is the moment you do.
